So very busy. I’ve been fighting with my meds, and they finally seem to be getting me close to normal. I have some motivation and I’m not laying on the couch half the day. I’m not spending a ton of time on the computer. About the only thing online I’ve been up to lately is playing with Polyvore. It’s fun, its like scrapbooking with clothes or playing with paper dolls. I can browse there on the iPad, so I don’t have to be AT the computer, except to make a set, but can check in with my contacts from time to time while hanging with the kids.
Lately I have been using it to try and organize a capsule wardrobe plan because *fanfare please*, I have started losing weight again. I’ve been stuck for so long, but now I am inching back down the scale. I’m at my lowest since before I got married (in ’98), although not quite down to where I was when I met DH in ’96. Almost though.
When you lose so slowly, its hard to see it, which makes it hard to celebrate. I tried on my wedding dress though, and while not falling off me, there is definitely some room in there. I am also able to fit into my “inspiration shirt” that has been hanging in my bathroom (a 3x from coldwater creek). NSV are the best.
I spent a few days this past week cleaning out my closet. I’d been wearing the same old clothes that I’ve had forever, even from my highest weight. I had sizes ranging up to 38. Pants were almost literally falling off me, and the shirts were like tents. I’ve continued to wear what I could and put off buying much because it seems crazy to spend a ton of money on clothes that will again (knock wood) be too big in another year.
However, I decided it was time to ditch them and get an interim wardrobe. They say that keeping the big clothes around makes it too easy to fall back into old habits. Besides, its difficult to feel good about how far I have come when I still LOOK like I weigh 375 pounds because I’m wearing baggy, oversized clothes that only make me look bigger than I am.
My mom was in town for a couple days (DH is gone to Chicago for 2 weeks for work, and she wanted to give me a break), so I had a (relatively) neutral judge on what still looked OK and could stay in the closet and what was ridiculously big and needs to be donated to Goodwill. I ended up with 5 large black garbage bags full of discards. My closet is still a little barren, but I think I can get by with just a little shopping, accessorizing with things that I haven’t shrunk out of (ie, bags, shoes, scarves, jewelry, etc!).
Since my old inspiration shirt is now a wearable part of my wardrobe, I have purchased a new inspiration shirt. It’s an XL from J.Crew. It’s suprisingly close to fitting. Once I can wear it, I will be in basically NORMAL sizes. (OK, for all you 2’s out there, it doesn’t seem normal, but from someone that was facing having to shop online because she was bulging out of 38s, the largest found locally, the prospect of being able to get even the largest size of a normal store is liberating).