The Mom I Want to Be

 

Social and emotional milestones are often harder to pinpoint than signs of physical development. This area emphasizes many skills that increase self-awareness and self-regulation. Research shows that social skills and emotional development (reflected in the ability to pay attention, make transitions from one activity to another, and cooperate with others) are a very important part of school readiness. 

 

 From birth to 3 months, babies spend a lot of time getting to know their own bodies. They:

 

•  Suck their own fingers

•  Observe their own hands

•  Look at the place on the body that is being touched

•  Begin to realize she is a separate person from others and learn how body parts, like arms and legs, are attached

 

Infants are interested in other people and learn to recognize primary caregivers. Most infants:

•  Can be comforted by a familiar adult

•  Respond positively to touch

•  Interact best when in an alert state or in an inactive and attentive state

•  Benefit from short, frequent interactions more than long, infrequent ones

•  Smile and show pleasure in response to social stimulation

 

 

From 3 to 6 months, babies are more likely to initiate social interaction. They begin to:

 

•  Play peek-a-boo

•  Pay attention to own name

•  Smile spontaneously

•  Laugh aloud

 

 

From 6 to 9 months, babies show a wider emotional range and stronger preferences for familiar people. Most can:

 

•  Express several clearly differentiated emotions

•  Distinguish friends from strangers

•  Respond actively to language and gestures

•  Show displeasure at the loss of a toy

 

 

From 9 to 12 months, as they near age one, imitation and self-regulation gain importance. Most babies can:

 

•  Feed themselves finger foods

•  Hold a cup with two hands and drink with assistance

•  Hold out arms and legs while being dressed

•  Mimic simple actions

•  Show anxiety when separated from primary caregiver

 

From 1 to 2 years, children become more aware of themselves and their ability to make things happen. They express a wider range of emotions and are more likely to initiate interaction with other people. At this stage, most children:

 

•  Recognize themselves in pictures or the mirror and smile or make faces at themselves

•  Show intense feelings for parents and show affection for other familiar people

•  Play by themselves and initiate their own play

•  Express negative feelings

•  Show pride and pleasure at new accomplishments

•  Imitate adult behaviors in play

•  Show a strong sense of self through assertiveness, directing others

•  Begin to be helpful, such as by helping to put things away

 

 

From 2 to 3 years, children begin to experience themselves as more powerful, creative “doers.” They explore everything, show a stronger sense of self and expand their range of self-help skills. Self-regulation is a big challenge. Two-year-olds are likely to:

 

•  Show awareness of gender identity

•  Indicate toileting needs

•  Help to dress and undress themselves

•  Be assertive about their preferences and say no to adult requests

•  Begin self-evaluation and develop notions of themselves as good, bad, attractive, etc.

•  Show awareness of their own feelings and those of others, and talk about feelings

•  Experience rapid mood shifts and show increased fearfulness (for example, fear of the dark, or certain objects)

•  Display aggressive feelings and behaviors

 

Children enjoy parallel play, engaging in solitary activities near other children. They are likely to:

 

•  Watch other children and briefly join in play

•  Defend their possessions

•  Begin to play house

•  Use objects symbolically in play

•  Participate in simple group activities, such as singing clapping or dancing

•  Know gender identity

 

 

At 3 to 4 years, as their dexterity and self-help skills improve, 3-year-olds become more independent. Most can:

 

•  Follow a series of simple directions

•  Complete simple tasks with food without assistance, such as spreading soft butter with a dull knife and pouring from a small pitcher

•  Wash hands unassisted and blow nose when reminded

 

Children become more interested in other children. They are now more likely to:

 

•  Share toys, taking turns with assistance

•  Initiate or join in play with other children and make up games

•  Begin dramatic play, acting out whole scenes (such as traveling, pretending to be animals)

 

 

At 4 to 5 years, children are more aware of themselves as individuals. They:

 

•  Show some understanding of moral reasoning (exploring ideas about fairness and good or bad behavior)

•  Compare themselves with others

 

4-year-olds are very interested in relationships with other children. They:

 

•  Develop friendships

•  Express more awareness of other people’s feelings

•  Show interest in exploring sex differences

•  Enjoy imaginative play with other children, like dress up or house

•  Bring dramatic play closer to reality by paying attention to detail, time, and space