The Mom I Want to Be

Children are eager learners from the very start. And from the start, they learn in the context of important relationships. Parents are in a unique position to help their children develop learning and thinking skills. Other caring adults, including grandparents, caregivers, and teachers, can help as well.

 

Learning at Home
Children’s thinking and reasoning skills emerge when adults and children seek out answers to questions and problems together. The emphasis should be on process rather that product. Listen carefully to children’s questions and think of ways that they can discover their own answers. (“Why does Sparky stay warm even when it’s cold out? That’s a good question. Let’s think about how you and Sparky are different.”)

Children’s solutions unfold gradually and often spontaneously in response to your questions. Instead of just telling you their ideas, kids may want to show them to you-perhaps by making a drawing or making a model out of clay. Of course, you can also use more traditional approaches, such as offering facts or describing how something works.

The most important thing you can teach children, no matter what their age, is that they are valued. Unless children have a basic sense of self-worth, it is unrealistic to expect them to approach the challenges of learning and problem-solving with confidence. When children feel that they are valued, they are more likely to feel capable, competent, and in control.

Solving Problems Creatively
You can help children become able, creative problem-solvers by encouraging them to come up with their own ideas and try a variety of solutions until they find one that works for them. Ask questions in ways that provoke children to think for themselves and to come up with an original idea or solution. For example, ask questions that begin, “How do you think we could…?” or “What do you suppose would happen if…?”

Once you ask thought-provoking questions, it is important to wait and listen to children’s answers with genuine respect for their ideas. This approach requires time, patience, and ingenuity, but is well worth the effort.

Outside the Home
Trips to new places-a farm, a library, or the local fire station-offer excellent opportunities for learning because they stimulate children’s sense of wonder and curiosity. Even a place that seems boring to you, such as a fruit stand, can hold kids’ interest. Hands-on experiences are especially exciting because they let children use their senses to explore a new setting. Allow plenty of time for children to make their own observations and ask their own questions. You may want to write these observations and questions down and explore them when you return home.

Learning Differences
Some children will not learn at the same rate as others or at the rate expected by you or teachers. This may be due to a simple learning difference, hearing or vision problem, emotional issue, or developmental delay. If your child is struggling with learning, talk to your health-care professional as well as to your child’s teacher (or childcare center director) about the possibility of getting an evaluation and additional services. Help is available and the sooner children obtain it, the sooner they can begin to overcome their difficulties.

Things to Remember

·  Let your children’s teachers know about what interests them and what they’re curious about. Find out if other children in the class share an interest of theirs and if the teacher is willing to let the children explore their ideas through projects in the classroom. Offer to help out with these projects and suggest ways the children can find out more about things they wonder about.

·  Follow your children’s interests and help them learn from everyday life around them. You can take a child that is interested in your plumbing to a local plumbing supply store or to talk to a plumber. A child who is interested in how his body works can visit his doctor’s office or a local children’s museum to look at diagrams or models of the body.

·  Children learn through play. Give them the chance to try out their ideas through experimentation with materials or dramatic play. For example, if your child is wondering how carpenters build stairs, he can experiment by building with blocks. Try to give him plenty of time to test out his ideas on his own.

Things to Avoid

·  Avoid answering your children’s questions immediately. First ask them for their ideas and what they think.

·  Try not to criticize your children’s ideas or opinions when they do tell them to you, even if you think they are incorrect! Listening to them and respecting what they say will encourage them to share their thoughts more often. You will help your child’s thinking more by asking questions rather than by insisting on a correct answer.

 

Try This At Home

 

1. It’s important to look for problems to present to your children so they can propose their own solutions. Think of a simple problem that you can present to your child and challenge her to solve it. How can you keep the activity going by expanding or revising the problem?

2. In the next week, make a point of asking your children questions that have more than one answer; for example, “What do you think about?” or “How could we fix it?” or “I wonder if there’s another way?”

3. The next time your child tells you about an idea he has, ask him to draw it for you or make a model out of pipe cleaners or blocks. When he is finished, ask him to explain his idea to you again. Are his thoughts clearer than before he drew or made a model of his idea?

4. Think of a real life experience that you can give to your child that will help her to further explore an interest of hers and then give her this experience. For example, if she is interested in animals, go to the zoo or a natural history museum. Be sure to make time to hear about her questions and interpretation of what she experiences.